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Why the Presidental Race between Clinton and Trump Reminds me of Divorce Cases

Well, I’m still here practicing Family Law in Broward County, Florida. (Although I have just opened an office in Palm Beach…you know, closer to Mr. Trump’s palace, Mar-a-Lago). In other words, neither Mrs. Clinton nor Mr. Trump have offered me that coveted position (that I made up) of In (White) House divorce counsel.

Nonetheless, I am drawn to the daily barbs that these two candidates sling back and forth. Then it hit me… deja vu. I had been here before! Many times! In fact, on almost a daily basis for the past 24 years.
Yes folks, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump barbs, squabbles and, as times, wholly inappropriate behavior mirrors two people going through a contentious divorce. Don’t believe me, well let’s make the comparison:

Hillary Clinton (a/k/a Wife)
(Quoting another)
With Trump as president we’d lose 3.5 million jobs, the debt will explode and stocks will plummet.

>Divorce translation:
He’s purposely reduced his income and he’s hiding assets

Donald Trump (a/k/a Husband)
Clinton ran the State Department like her own personal hedge fund doing favors in exchange for cash

Divorce translation:
She’s spending all of our money on herself, and she’s having an affair

Hillary Clinton:
He’s written lots of books about business but they all seem to end at Chapter 11

Divorce translation:
Am I entitled to the future royalties from these books after the divorce, and if he gets past chapter 11, do I get the royalties in Chapter 13?

Donald Trump:
She surged the trade deficit with China 40 percent

Divorce translation:
She’s shopping way, way too much

Hillary Clinton:
He’s been involved in more than 3500 lawsuits in the past 30 years

Divorce translation:
I told you he will just fight this divorce for sport…until he uses up all the money…and am I liable for any of those
judgments against him in the divorce?

(Author’s note…this would likely be called the dream client, unfortunately, for many of my colleagues- a person who likes to fight with a bottomless pocket)

Donald Trump:
Hillary Clinton wants to abolish the Second Amendment and take your guns away

Divorce translation
She’s going to try and get a domestic violence injunction against me just because I have a gun collection and get me
kicked out of the house.

Hillary Clinton:
Donald wants to make America great again, but the only thing he makes in America is bankruptcies

Divorce translation:
I think he has offshore businesses…can I get money for those too?

Donald Trump:
The death of the executed Iranian nuclear scientist is as a direct result of Hillary Clinton’s emails

Divorce translation:
I tapped into her emails and there’s a lot of stuff that I can use against her in the divorce…I mean it’s HUGE

(Author’s note: if this were truly a divorce case Mr. Trump would be in trouble for accessing these emails…and not matter how bad they were, the judge would have issues with Trump…Hey, this really is like a divorce case!)

Hillary Clinton:
Trump wants to give trillions in tax breaks to people like him

Divorce translation:
Can my alimony be non-taxable?

Donald Trump:
Barack Obama founded ISIS and Hillary Clinton was the co-founder

Divorce Translation:
Politics aside folks, even I cannot come up with one for that statement.

Hillary Clinton:
It’s unfortunate Trump’s only method of dealing with his disastrous week is to lash out more absurdities

Divorce translation:
He’s gone so far off the rails I think I need an injunction

Donald Trump:
The Second Amendment People will have to stop Hillary’s Supreme Court nominees

Divorce Translation (but wait- Who are the Second Amendment people?)
She can’t get an injunction against me if she doesn’t know I called in the militia

Hillary Clinton:
A person running for President should not suggest violence.

Divorce Translation:
I want an injunction against the Republican Party…all of them!!!

Donald Trump:
I cannot release my taxes because I am under audit.

Divorce Translation:
The IRS can’t find where I’m cheating on my taxes do you think your forensic accountant is going to find the money?

Hillary Clinton:
I’m going to release my taxes soon

Divorce translation:
You’re not the only one who can hide money, sucker.
So there you have it! Variations on a theme I hear daily. The take away….if you find yourself getting divorced DON’T act like the Presidential nominees! You don’t want your case to last as long as this Presidential campaign has lasted and you probably don’t have the capacity to raise the funds Clinton and Trump do to fund the crazy litigation.2013 Greenbuild Conference



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  • Latest Comments

    • Ken Cimetta
      4 years ago - Reply

      How do we divorce both of them?

      • Cindy Vova
        3 years ago - Reply

        Trying to figure that one out!