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Reflections on Father’s Day


nominated and winner of “best father” with #1 voter


Okay, so I have to admit, my tribute to the fathers of the world is colored by the fathers in my life:

1)   My father, who  had about the most “traditional” Ozzie and Harriet marriage one could imagine, where he “slogged in the food,” while my mother raised the kids, cleaned the house, and cooked the food, and

2)   The father of my children who, in raising our two children, was the Ying to my Yang(translation: the calming influence to my hysteria)

My father, a product of immigrant parents, the Depression and World War II, in spite of epitomizing the strong and stoic father figure, always instilled on me that I could do and be whatever I put my mind to.

My children’s father hands down is consistently not only nominated as “Father of the Year” among our children’s friends, but consistently wins the award as well.  If the truth be told,  he was the de facto  father for at least three girls who had dads missing in their lives.

So given this disclaimer,  as Father’s Day approaches, I felt it appropriate to urge everyone who is lucky enough to still have a Father alive, to sit back and reflect on the role of fatherhood.

What it means to be a dad may be as diverse as what it means to be the child of that dad.  In other words, there’s not a one size fits all definition.   The one thing that is universal…there are no “perfect” dads, but good dads are inevitably perceived by their children (at least when the kids are very young) as being perfect.

There are dads who are strict, and enforce rules that eclipse the Hammurabi Code, and there are dads who haven’t  a  clue what the Hammurabi  Code even is, much less enforce it.

There are dads who work tirelessly to ensure that, to the best of their means, their children want for nothing; and there are those dads who coach their kid’s little league team(and don’t always put their kid in  the game so the kid learns the rules of life and not just the sport);

There are dads who are always talking to teach you a life lesson; and there are those dads who teach life lessons by saying nothing.

There are dads who always say “I love you,” and there are those dads who never say those words…but know their kids know they love them without the words and by their actions.

And there are those dads who are sad…sad because where once they likely saw their kids daily, a  divorce or separation has changes that situation.  Whether that  dad was the “hands on” heavy lifter when it came to the kids, or left that role to the mom, it does not mean the separation from their children is any less painful.   After practicing law 32 (ouch) years, I have yet to see a dad who was happy that he would not get to say good night to his kids every night.

Still, the separation does not mean the fathers love their kids any less…now perhaps the separation makes them love their children even more.

Sunday is a reminder to all those children (young and old)  out there, who are lucky enough to have a father in their lives of how special a Father is -even though you may not always see it.

So yes, remember Dad on Father’s Day, but don’t forget him the rest of the year.



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