Why Your Divorce Should Not be Viewed As An Olympic Sport
- 24 August 2016
- Cindy Vova
- 0 Comments
After 16 (or was it 17?) days on Sunday night the Olympic torch was extinguished and thus the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat (as those of us old enough to remember ABC’s Wide World of Sports) is done. However, as I watched those amazing athletes from around the globe compete, and thought about what they put themselves through to get to the Rio games, I couldn’t help but think about how I often see people going through a divorce act as though they too were in an Olympic competition.
What do I mean, you ask. Well, let’s take a look at some comparisons:
Olympic Athlete: Trains non- stop for years, to the exclusion of most other activities
Divorcing Spouse: Sometimes plans divorce for years, to the exclusion of most other activities.
Olympic Athlete: Spends most of their time around athletes engaged in the same sport always competing and attempting to do better.
Divorcing Spouse: Spends too much time around others also getting divorce, competing (my lawyer’s better than yours)and comparing scores (how much alimony did you get/have to pay?)
Olympic Athlete: Is in constant contact with his/her coach.
Divorcing Spouse: Is in constant contact with his/her attorney. This may feel like the athlete who has a 24/7 coach, but it gets a lot more expensive.
Olympic Athlete: Eats lots of carbs to stay competitive (ie: Michael Phelps’ famous 12,000 a day)
Divorcing Spouse: Eats lots of carbs to reduce stress- not a good way to launch yourself into the single world, my friends.
Olympic Athlete: Begins the actual Olympics with much drama, and a big flame.
Divorcing Spouse: Begins the divorce with much drama as well, and sometimes finds a new flame.
Olympic Athlete: Goes for the gold
Divorcing Spouse: Goes for the gold, too, as well as most everything else they can get their hands on
Olympic Athlete: Enjoys the Olympic spirit of all nations coming together.
Divorcing Spouse: Enjoys the divorcing spirit of tearing a spouse apart, and everything else.
Olympic Athlete: Knows to become a champion takes a lot of endurance.
Divorcing Spouse: Knows to survive a divorce takes a lot of endurance, and (if they really want to fight) a lot of money.
Olympic Athlete: Wants to win, no matter what the sacrifice.
Divorcing Spouse: Want to win, no matter what the cost.
Olympic Athlete: Understands that he/she may lose, in spite of all the training, but still goes on
Divorcing Spouse: Understands that he/she may lose a lot more than they gain, but still wants to fight anyway
Olympic Athlete: Survival of the fittest
Divorcing Spouse: Survival of the sanest.
So, you see that many of the qualities that makes an Olympians are the same characteristics and traits that make people awful divorcing spouses. What is an admirable trait in an athlete, makes for a contentious divorce when a person is ending a marriage.
Think about this if you are going through a divorce. It is so much better to try and resolve differences, and in so doing, resolve and compromise (which is inherent in resolution) your positions, than to set your sights on what might be a very elusive “gold medal.”
Remember, what propels an athlete to win a gold medal, propels a divorce client to spend enough on their lawyers for the lawyers to get their own gold medals.